If you’re considering ditching the traditional wedding route and instead opting for a destination elopement, you’ve come to the right place.
As two people who have chosen, planned, and experienced a destination elopement, we have quite a few things that we learned and want to share with you!
If you’re wondering if this type of wedding is right for you, then keep reading. We’re going to go over how to decide for yourself, the pros and cons of this route, and a bit of the things we learned along the way.
Our Story (the short version)
A couple of years ago when we were in the beginning of the wedding planning process, we were fully planning a big traditional wedding. But the more we planned, the less excited we got about the idea of this huge, expensive wedding that just quite honestly didn’t seem worth it to us.
We started considering just skipping the wedding, heading somewhere nice on our own, and just spend our money on the trip instead.
We both love travel more than anything, neither of us really had much of a desire to have a big wedding, and we began to see how much more value we’d get spending our money on a destination elopement instead of a traditional wedding.
Flash forward a few months- we’re standing on the cliffs in Big Sur, California reading our vows to each other on the cliffside while the waves crashed below us, and it was truly the best, most beautiful moment.
We took all the money that we would have spent on a venue, catering, decorations, etc. and instead used it for a 2-week long road trip across the country (quite literally- we drove from Indiana to California and back, visiting 13 states and many national parks along the way).
There’s not a day that goes by that we regret choosing this type of wedding. It was just us, standing in a beautiful place we’d always wanted to visit, and it was perfect. After the wedding, we got to immediately explore more places- national parks, new cities. We saw deserts and forests and mountains and lakes and the ocean. We had the time of our lives, and it was something we still gush over 5 years later.
This ended up being perfect for us, but we’re here to help you figure out if it’s right for you. So, how do you decide? Let’s get into it.
How to decide if a destination elopement is right for you
If you’re on the fence about a destination wedding, ask yourselves these questions.
How many people do you want at your wedding?
This matters because in most cases, destination weddings aren’t big events where everyone you know is there. Typically if you’re traveling to a different place, it’s either just you and your partner. But you also might bring along immediate family and close friends.
If you’re cool with something small and intimate, then an elopement is a great option!
What’s your budget like?
‘Traditional’ weddings are ridiculously expensive. We didn’t realize how expensive they truly were until we started the planning process.
If your budget is fairly small (like ours was), it can be difficult to plan a big wedding without feeling like you’re sacrificing on everything.
Let’s say you have a budget of $5,000 total and a venue costs a few thousand on its own. You’re pretty much out of money before you even plan anything else.
If you have a small budget and feel uncertain about fitting everything in, destination weddings can be a grea option.
Speaking of that….
What is worth the money to you?
For us, the thought of spending $5,000 on a building that we got to be in for 4 hours and some mediocre food and a DJ just didn’t feel worth it. We weren’t that excited about the idea of a big traditional wedding, so why spend thousands of dollars on it?!
But spending $5,000 on travel, seeing amazing places, and making lifelong memories DID feel so worth it.
If you think all the normal wedding stuff like a venue and a dress and a DJ and all of that is worth the money you’ll spend, then go for it! Have the wedding you want and love!
But if the thought of that feels more stressful than exciting, then maybe it’s time to rethink things.
When we decided to skip the big wedding and instead take a wedding road trip, we were able to pay for our entire trip with the money it would have cost to just get a venue and catering.
How do you want to remember your day?
It can be helpful to think about what you want for your wedding day- like what you truly, genuinely want.
The structure of destination elopements leaves a bit more room for free time. On our wedding day, we didn’t have to wake up early and spend all day getting hair and makeup done and finalizing decorations or entertaining friends and family members.
We woke up, went to an adorable little cafe for breakfast and took our time with the morning. You could spend your morning hiking, or having brunch or truly anything you want.
Both in our experience, and based on the research we did prior to our wedding, destination elopements just generally allow for more flexibility in your day.
So truly think about what you and your partner want your big day to look and feel like, and plan around that.
How to get started planning your destination elopement
If you’ve asked yourself those questions and you feel like a destination elopement is the way to go, then it’s time to start planning!
We had so much fun planning ours- especially because it gave us the opportunity to plan a trip to somewhere we’ve always wanted to go.
If you’re ready to get into planning an elopement of your own, here are a few things you should do to get started.
Step 1: Figure out how many people you want there.
The term ‘elopement’ used to describe a couple running off and getting married by themselves, but that doesn’t have to always be the case. That term is used more loosely now to describe smaller, more intimate weddings, usually in destination.
Many couples choose to ‘elope’, but still like to have close friends or family there. It can also totally just be you and your partner!
My husband and I chose for it to just be the two of us, and it was still a very special moment.
Think about who else (if anyone) you want there and keep that mind for the next parts!
Step 2: Figure out where you want to have it.
This is the fun part! Maybe you have somewhere that you’ve always thought about getting married, or maybe you have a long list of places you think would make a stunning backdrop.
When we did this, we wrote out a list of all the places we thought would be really cool to get married at, then we individually ranked them on a scale of 1-5. Once we were done, we compared and narrowed it down to the few places we both ranked the highest. Then we started looking into each of those locations (and the logistics at getting married at each of them), and settled on one from there!
Have fun with this! Think of places where you’ve always wanted to visit and dream big!
Step 3: Plan the logistics.
Destination elopements still require some figuring out of logistics, sometimes even some extra things, so make sure you do that part too!
A few basics to plan:
The wedding certificate & the actual legal part of the wedding. Will you get legally married wherever your destinaton is, or will you do the legal stuff ahead of time and just hold your ceremony at your destination? Each state has different rules about marriage certificates and how many witness signatures are needed, so it’s important to plan in adavnce for these types of things.
The photographer. The photography is such an important part of your wedding day, especially if you’re choosing to do a smaller wedding. Trust me- your family and friends will be so excited to see the photos of your big day and you’ll be obsessed with them forever. Make sure you find a photography who can be at the location you’re planning to go!
The specifics of the day. Think about the things that aren’t obvious. Make sure your outfit fits the climate of the area you’re going to. Think about the logistics of doing all of the stuff you want to do on your day. Will you have a cake? Will you hire an officiant from that area? Are you going to write your own vows?
Step 4: Dream big and plan the day exactly how you want it.
Destination weddings are fun and exciting, but they’re also an opportunity to plan the day of your absolute dreams. Elopements like these provide more flexibility for you and your partner to spend the day exactly how you want to. Make sure you make the day all about you two. Dream your wildest dreams and then go make them a reality. Create a day you look back on and smile from ear to ear.
Our destination elopement was a dream, and we know firsthand how amazing this wedding route can be. Whether you choose this option or not, we hope you have the best wedding ever and wish you and your partner a lifetime of happiness and love!
Photo credits: Michelle Larmand Photography
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